Key takeaways
- Toilet training uses motor, thinking and communication skills all at once, so it helps to build them one at a time first.
- Fibre, plenty of fluids and active play support healthy bowels and bladders.
- Pre-toileting skills include feeling relaxed in the bathroom, understanding wet and dry, and practising sitting on the toilet with no pressure.
- Signs your child may be ready include staying dry for 2 hours or more and being able to pull pants up and down.
- Never force a child to sit on the toilet. It should feel safe and positive.
Toilet training is a huge step for your child. It’s much more than doing a wee on the toilet. By working on a few skills before you start, you can make toilet training calmer and quicker for everyone.
Why are pre-toileting skills important?
Using the toilet is a chain of small steps. Your child needs to learn to:
- hold on to wee and poo
- tell you they need to go
- pull pants and underwear down and up
- get on and off the toilet
- pull off toilet paper, reach and wipe
These steps draw on gross motor, fine motor, thinking and communication skills. Learning them all at once can overwhelm a child and slow progress. Building them one at a time first makes the big step smaller.
Healthy habits that support toilet training
- Fibre. Foods such as wholemeal bread, cereals, fruit and vegetables help keep bowels healthy.
- Plenty of fluids, spread through the day. This helps the bladder fill and empty regularly, so your child gets to know what a full bladder feels like. Fluids also keep poo soft and easier to pass.
- Active play every day. Movement helps bowels work well and builds the strength and balance your child needs to sit on, and climb on and off, the toilet.
Pre-toileting skills to practise
- Feeling comfortable in the bathroom. Some children are sensitive to bright lights, the flush, a cold floor or the smell of soap. Notice what bothers your child and adjust what you can. Posters, photos or special books and toys used only in the bathroom can make it more inviting.
- Understanding wet and dry. Talk about wet and dry during everyday moments, such as washing hands or bath time.
- Dressing and undressing. Practise pulling elastic-waist pants down and up during play and getting dressed.
- Learning how the toilet is used. If you’re comfortable, let your child see you use the toilet. Children learn a lot by watching.
- Sitting on the toilet with no expectations. Start once a day, at a calm time that fits your routine, such as before bath time. Slowly build up how often and how long, working towards your child sitting happily for about 2 minutes. Praise the sitting itself. Your child is still in nappies at this stage.
Never force your child to sit on the toilet. The goal is for sitting to feel safe and relaxed, without fear or worry. It’s a brand new kind of seat, so give it time.
Setting up the bathroom
- Choose your words for wee and poo. Use the same words everywhere and tell your child’s preschool, so everyone is consistent.
- Toilet or potty? A potty can help some children, for example if your only toilet is on another floor or your child has physical difficulties. But moving from a potty to the toilet later is another change to learn, and potties mean extra cleaning.
- A toilet seat insert helps your child feel safe and supported on an adult toilet.
- A step stool helps your child climb on and off by themselves and supports their feet while sitting. Feet flat, with knees a little higher than hips, makes it easier to do a poo.
Signs your child may be ready
There’s no set age. Your child may be ready to move from nappies to undies when they:
- stay dry for 2 hours or more
- can pull their pants up and down
- show interest in the toilet or want to watch you use it
- tell you when their nappy is wet or dirty
When to seek support
It’s worth talking to your GP or an occupational therapist if:
- your child is very anxious or upset in the bathroom, even after slow practice
- sensory sensitivities (noise, light, textures) keep getting in the way
- dressing, balance or sitting are hard for your child
- toilet training has stalled for several months
- your child often has hard poos or seems to hold on
Our occupational therapists in Northmead help children with toileting and self-care, including the sensory side of toileting. We support NDIS self-managed and plan-managed families; see our funding options or contact our Northmead team.
Frequently asked questions
What are pre-toileting skills?
They are the smaller skills a child needs before toilet training, such as feeling comfortable in the bathroom, understanding wet and dry, pulling pants up and down, and sitting on the toilet calmly.
What are the signs my child is ready for toilet training?
Common signs include staying dry for 2 hours or more, pulling pants up and down, showing interest in the toilet, and telling you when their nappy is wet or dirty.
Should I use a potty or the toilet?
Either can work. A potty may suit some children and homes, but moving to the toilet later is an extra step. A toilet seat insert and step stool help many children feel safe on the toilet from the start.
How long should my child sit on the toilet?
When practising, start with a few seconds and build up to about 2 minutes. Keep it relaxed, praise the sitting, and never force it.
Can an occupational therapist help with toilet training?
Yes. An OT can look at the motor, sensory and routine parts of toileting and give you a step-by-step plan for home.
References
- Raising Children Network. Toilet training in pictures.
- Raising Children Network. Toilet training: a guide.
Updated from an earlier article by Mette Haulrik, Occupational Therapist.